Loop de loop

Life is a giant loop de loop, and it takes money to keep on riding that roller coaster. And while some say that life isn't all about money - well, you can declaim the idea that money matters, but honey, if you want to enjoy life, you have to have the money to pay for it. And thus, our lives are spent in pursuit of the money we need to pay for the lives we live. Everyone has bills to pay, everyone has the basics to buy. Money may not be the reason you get up in the morning, but you've got to admit, it is a mighty powerful motivator. 

My husband makes a good income, but in this economy, things are tight and every dollar counts. Though I don't get paid for being a stay at home mom (or my preferred term, "Domestic Engineer") I know I contribute tons. I do everything for everyone, run the household, run the kids to their activities, and run - run - run to get it all done. But now that my girls are in school full-time, I got a job. And when I received my first paycheck it was a great feeling. But now my hours at home are limited, and I'm feeling the pressure of still having to do it all - but in less time. And it got me thinking about the things that I really and truly value, since my time is more valuable these days. 

I have a friend I know who works two jobs. She's this teeny little slip of a woman, but inside, she is tough as steel. And this woman has a daughter. She likes to keep her daughter busy after school - lots of extra curricular's - piano lessons, sports, creative things. This woman is deliberate in how she is raising her child - and she does not want her girl sitting around like a lump, but instead, shapes her daughter's free time. And I look at my kids and think, gosh, I must be a slacker mom. My younger daughter is taking gymnastics and basketball, my older does drama and dance. But that's all they do. Because that's all we can afford to do.

My friend busts her chops between her two jobs so she can pay for the many activities her daughter is involved in. These things cost money. Lots of it. For example - you enroll a kid in a drama class. You pay for the class. Then you pay for whatever gear they need for the weeks/months they are in the class (dance shoes, leotards, etc.) Then you pay for the costumes they will need for the performance. Then when their performance comes up, you pay for tickets. Let's not forget about all the gas to get these kids to their activities, back and forth, back and forth, plus the time involved spent shuttling them to the activities, and being there - whether involved, or just waiting - during those activities. 

Seems as parents we pay through the nose when our kids are involved in activities. So my question: are all of these activities necessary to develop our kids into well-rounded adults? Or is having some free time, down time, mindless game-playing, chip-munchin' time okay, too?

How much is enough? How much is TOO much? I remember being involved in sports when I was a kid. I was very athletic. It was my thing and I enjoyed it. But I don't remember being dragged to activities just to keep me busy. I remember having plenty of playtime, plenty of free time to just hang out and play in my neighborhood with my friends. And I grew up okay.

I'm not saying that kids shouldn't be involved in activities. But if we have to work a second job just to pay for those activities - and then not be able to be with our family because we are working so hard, trying to pay those endless bills ... I have to ask, "Is is worth it?" This endless loop de loop of busyness? Of forced activity for the sake of itself? 

Or is it better to maybe not focus on the money so much, to not go - go - go all the time? To slow down ... breathe a little easier ... without all the rushing. And maybe, just maybe, spend a little more time with the ones we love. As for me, I realize how valuable my time is now. And I want to spend the time I have available, with those I value the most.