“Where did THAT come from?”

We are dog owners. Zoe, 8 years old, is a female Cocker Spaniel/Poodle mix. Izzy, almost 3, is a male Pekinese/Cocker Spaniel. This time of year their coats are growing out, so Zoe (who is white and has curly fur) looks like a sheep; Izzy (who has silky jet-black fur) looks like a shaggy little bear. And these two are about as much trouble as you can get in a pair of mismatched dogs.

Zoe woke me today at three a.m. … the dreaded ‘need to go out’ hour of the night. I followed her wearily downstairs, and Izzy, my shadow dog, followed me. The second (after) I let Zoe out, I noticed a steaming pile of cockapoo-poo on the pile carpet.  Fabulous. She tells me she needs to go out ‘after’ she goes? Such is my life.

No, we don’t have the best trained dogs in the world. Sweet, yes. Loyal, absolutely. But not good when it comes to use of the ‘outdoor’ toilet. Nope: my dogs are both masters of carpet chaos. They would much rather unload inside than face the elements outside.

Now that we have two dogs, we have much the same issues as we have with our two girls. The dreaded ‘whodunit.’ (“Who broke the lamp?” “Not me!” “Not me!” Sigh.) Both dogs will gladly hover by my side, looking at whatever current evidence is soaking into the shag, with the expression, “Where did THAT come from?” With two dogs, it is nigh impossible (short of DNA testing on the sample) to know for a fact which of them done the deed. In fact, Zoe - older and wiser in these things. will often look at Izzy with a doggish smirk, because she knows that he will act guilty… even when he’s not.

Izzy is a rescue dog, and for a long time, if he was upset, or frightened, he would turn around and smell his own butt. It was always a sure sign that he was the guilty party. But he is older and more secure now, and will stand blithely by without blinking. So it’s a lot tougher to tell who left the package, when neither is talking.

Now, when one dog feels the need to get a little fresh air at three in the morning, the other has to get their turn as well. And if it’s raining outside, guaranteed they will be coated with mud when they come back in. So I have a squeaky cocka leaky peki and a muddle puddle poodle battle to clean after their night-time romp. More fun and games for mama, who of course is the only one awake. More fun for me.

These things always seem to happen in the middle of the night. My kids routinely take off the dogs’ collars at night to give them some good scratching time, and it’s always those nights that the dogs will come collar-less and want to go out. As those collars could be anywhere, and I’m already downstairs, I have to struggle to get each dog in a walking harness to put them on their retractable leads. This is not an easy task in the daytime. At night, bleary-eyed without my glasses, it is a challenge. But once the dogs are out, I can commence with the carpet clean-up.

Now, if you are a parent, I’m sure you’ve endured the sole-shredding toys of toddler turmoil. There’s nothing quite like stepping bare-footed on razor-sharp Barbie shoes and Legos. Well, we’ve been through tootsie torture with our girls and their toys, and now we have it again with the dogs and their dry food. How dog food pellets can be both sharp and slimy at the same time, I don’t know. Kibble shrapnel, exploding underfoot like wet little bombs. I guess it all adds to the ambiance of our home, and adds color to our carpets.

But for all the trouble, I still wouldn’t give those two up for the world. Even as I type, Zoe is ensconced by my legs in the warm nook under the computer desk. And Izzy is right beside me, curled up in a bean bag chair and snoring softly, a de-fluffed bear nestled between his paws. Yeah, being a dog owner is a lot of work. But you know what? They’re worth it.